WELCOME TO WEEK 3 - NURTURING NO'S!
- Looking at the impact of the paradigm shift that our children are inherently GOOD. So if they are behaving off-track, there must be a really GOOD reason why.
- When setting a limit, it's helpful to consider:
- are my expectations reasonable for their age and ability
- do they need any information or a reminder
- do they have a need for autonomy that I can accommodate
- do they need connection
- do they need an emotional release
- If they need an emotional release - we set the limit so that they can release the feelings that are driving their off-track behaviour. Not just about stopping the behaviour.
#2 SETTING THE LIMIT WITH AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE
How to set the limit when an emotional release happens. What to say to your child, how to be with them and what to expect.
2a# ROLE PLAY - SETTING LIMITS (NO DRAWING ON THE CUSHION)
A role play showing a playful way to set a limit, and then showing when a 'nurturing no' results in a big emotional release when big feelings come out in the form of hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, etc.
(Gemma is v convincing crying, but no adults were hurt making this!!)
#3 - CPs, PREVENTING MISBEHAVING ELSEWHERE
- Are your children choosing to misbehave?
- What if your child distracts themselves and doesn't have much of an emotional release?
- What to do if your child misbehaves in situations where you're not present?
- The importance of working WITH our children
#4 - MULTIPLE CHILDREN, PUBLIC MELTDOWNS & HOW YOU MIGHT FEEL
- how to manage if one child hits another
- how to deal with setting limits and a big tantrum when out in public
- things you may feel during the meltdown
- addressing whether this approach promotes disrespect towards us
- 2 anecdotes of public emotional releases with my own children
#5 - ST, BUILDING CO-OPERATION, MENTAL CHATTER
- Why Special Time is important for setting limits
- How to build co-operation
- Will your child be able to cope with the 'big wide world' if you listen to their emotions in this way?
- Addressing some of your potential mental chatter
#6 ROLE PLAY - SETTING LIMITS AROUND THE iPAD
Watch a number of role-play scenarios over how to set the limit about the iPad.
(please excuse the some-what dodgy camera work!)
# ROLE PLAY - SETTING LIMITS AROUND SNATCHING A BALL
Watch a number of role-play scenarios over how to set the limit about snatching a ball.
This is helpful when it comes to dealing with sharing.
REFLECTION AFTER SETTING A LIMIT & LISTENING TO A BIG EMOTIONAL RELEASE
Because setting a limit in this way and listening to the big emotions that can result, is BIG stuff for ALL of us, it's a great idea to reflect on what happened, how your child reacted, how you felt and any insights you may have gained for the future.
Download the PDF or open up in Evernote and write away!
And then.... come and share your thoughts, questions or observations with your Parent Buddy and/or in the Facebook group!
For suggestions on what to say when you're the listener in the Listening Partnership - View the info sheet below.
This week we look at setting limits. What do we associate with setting limits, how did our parents treat us when they said no, what did your punishments look like. And how do you feel when you set limits with your child.
Open or download the worksheet and then play the video so that we can go through the questions together.
And if you would like to - come and share in the Facebook Group and with your Parent Buddy.